my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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