I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He did a backflip because drugs
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