Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
