Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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