Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
