Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
