i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize