It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
