Where did you get a picture of my penis
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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