the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
