I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
