were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize