i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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