And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
