Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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