I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
