And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
