That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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