So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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