Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
