Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
