I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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