My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
