I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
