Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize