I don't think brook has ever known best
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
