So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
