I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
