New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize