Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
