Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
