She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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