he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize