i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
