I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
