i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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