LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
