what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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