I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
