He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
