I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
