Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I don't think brook has ever known best
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
