Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
