I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
