I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Randomize
