If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
