i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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