I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
True strength comes from lack of pants
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
