Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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