Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
