I just made out with a guy for $7.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
