i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
