you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
