I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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