Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
