I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
