we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
