Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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