I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
