I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
