I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
