After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
