I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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